Friday, February 26, 2010

Twilight







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Thursday, February 25, 2010

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED

http://a.abcnews.com/images/US/menhappy_080730_mn.jpg
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too sicky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. !

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes!

No wonder men are happier. Read more...

Husband and wife jokes

In a divorce court a woman requested the judge:
"Your honor, I want to divorce my husband."
"But why ?" asked the judge.
She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."
The judge asked, "How do you know ?"
She replied, "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

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Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be
home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in
another man's arms. Why, Dad ? Tell me why!"
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she
didn't get the fax."

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A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first
married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my
slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after
ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers
and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"

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One woman told another : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her
husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but
have I ever said anything bad about him?"

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A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts
shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares to
answer her."
One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?"
The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the
house and none of them dares to answer back.

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A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came
home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said
the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three
o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you,
Jim?" And that cured him.
"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?"
The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."

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"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?"
He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
"But that's wonderful," I said.
"What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.

Read more...

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Women and sex


About one per cent of women can orgasm solely through breast stimulation.

30% of women over the age of 80 still have sexual intercourse either with their spouse or boyfriends.

Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

Women who went to college are more likely to enjoy both the giving and receiving of oral sex than high school dropouts. (Amazing what one learns in college).

Women are most likely to want to have sex when they are ovulating.

Women with a Ph.D. are twice as likely to be interested in a one-night stand than those with only a Bachelor's degree.

According to Penthouse magazine, more women complain about infrequent sex than men do. Forty percent of women have said they had an orgasm while dreaming about sex. That number is 80% for men.

The frequency with which a woman has orgasms during her sleep actually increases as she ages during her childbearing years.

According to Playboy, more women talk dirty during sex than men

It's been estimated that one out of every two hundred women is born with an extra nipple.

A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release of endorphins), so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.


Meh~ might as well post women facts up. I have tons more tho. ;)
And I still don't get to use the digest function! What's it for! -.- Read more...

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